Hi Teman2,
I promise God that I will share this testimony with as many people as possible. To be honest, I have been keeping this to myself and not even my family knows about this.
Last month, all Waseda student has to undergo a compulsory full body check-up. I attended the check-up, thinking that it will be just like a regular medical consultation to make sure I do not have chronic illnesses. Everything went well in the beginning until my urinalysis report came out. It turn out that they found protein in my liquid waste and this was highly abnormal. However, since it was only a coarse test, they wanted to re-examine this issue two weeks after that day.
So last week, I went for the re-examination thinking that it will be a routine re-test to confirm that I am healthy. I did not feel the need to be concern because I feel perfectly healthy! And the report came out; it turned out that this time, protein level is higher than previously tested. The nurses were alarmed and quickly referred me to a renal specialist. It was at that time that I started to feel worried, and to some extent, scared. I rushed to the computer lab to learn more about this problem and internet information confirmed my worst expectation. High level of protein in urine is a sign of the beginning of kidney failure. It stated that many people with kidney diseases do not reach the kidney failure stage but I was still disturbed by the possibilities of needing to go through dialysis to preserve my life.
I went home that day feeling slumped and depressed. Though I was not in the right mood to do anything, God reminded me that nothing should hinder the targets that I have set for myself in Japan- to find a job and hopefully become more independent. So, I dragged myself to the nearby campus and applies for a tutoring job. The application went well but it still did not make me happier that day. From that day till today, many thoughts crossed my mind. First, what should I do next. I am only 20 and I have yet to achieve anything in life. Second, how would this affect my family. They will definitely make sure I am completely healthy again. But even if they can afford it, how certain is it that I can leave the operation room alive. Death crossed my mind frequently that week.
I prayed to God everyday and stayed positive at every moment. I was in deep thoughts several time and God gave me strength through my faith in Him. When alive, we honor Him in the world. When we die, we honor Him in heaven. Alive or not alive, we are still in Him; it is merely a transition. True enough, I have no problem leaving this world as long as I hold on to His promises but at the same time, I have big problems going through all the sufferings before I die. I have great faith but I have low tolerance! With kidney failure, I will eventually be weaker, bed-ridden, blind, handicapped and perhaps suffering from pain. Then I prayed to God: "if you are calling me to be your assistant in heaven, can you make it quick?" But God has a different answer.
Yesterday during sunday service, a sudden thought came into my mind; it is as though someone is speaking to me. "Staying humble is the hardest thing you (which is me) can ever achieve!" It is so true in more than one way. There are so many people who can see but are still blinded by corruptions and greed. There are so many people with a healthy body but are spiritually unhealthy. And there are 6 billions people living in this world, but how many are humble? Living a righteous life and being humble are far more difficult that surviving. Yet we are more concerned about how to live more comfortably rather than doing things that put a smile on His face. Upon realizing this, my emphasis is no longer towards my life but towards my soul. I'd rather die a humble man than live an arrogant life. Life and death, strong and weak, at that point of time, are no longer my primary concern.
Today, I returned to the medical center for my consultation. They asked me to take another urinalysis to update my condition. This time, they performed a more thorough test on my sample in order to acquire more data. I still kept myself positive believing that God's miracle is never limited. When the test is completed, I am declared healthy; there is not abnormalities in my urine sample. I heaved a sigh of relieve and praised God for his interference. The specialist said there should be no further problem and I did not need to come back this year. I will still need to undergo another full check-up next year to determine my health status.
God has alleviated the biggest problem in my life. Perhaps the previous two tests were inaccurate; perhaps God healed me instantly; or perhaps the last test was inaccurate and I still have problems. But in any case, I no longer worry about surviving because as long as my focus is in Him, He will keep me healthy, spiritually. He allows me to go through all these for a reason- to release me from the worldly views and strengthen my faith. Also, He allows me to experience the state-of-the-art medical system and world-renowned kidney specialist, everything, for only $6.80. That was 1/100 of the cost to remove my warts from my hand.
My friend, I might sound joking right now but tears are rolling down my cheeks. I am reminded of how GOOD my God is to me. He is so good that I hope I can thank Him face to face. It is only when I am closer towards death that I can realize how much favor I receive just to be a complete person. So I hope that whenever you are in dire situations, think of how Jesus died on the cross about 2000 years ago. He was cursed and physically destroyed but after that He rose from the dead and proclaim our Father's glory to everyone for 2 millennium. We might die but death is no more than a transition from this world, to God's Kingdom.
God Bless all of you!
Kenji T. Kusuma
Monday, October 19, 2009
When you have to define life and death.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
BenjaminGen Devotional: How do you see God?
Intro
These days, the main problem that I believe many Christians have is the way they see God. I believe many Chris- tians have been introduced to the names of God: the healer, provider and so on. However, not many know who God really is. Some still see God as an angry god who is ready to unleash His fiery judgment the instant they do wrong. Others see God as a god who must be pleased before He blesses. My friends, I would just like you to know, that God is unlike any of that!
The Bible says that God is love [1 John 4:8]! And love, as the apostle Paul puts it, is long-suffering, kind and self- sacrificial [1 Corinth. 13:4-8]!
Now, why is our perception of God so important, you ask? Because, my friends, the way you see God will affect your relationship with God and how much you receive from Him!
Jesus - God’s gift for you
Do you know that in heaven, God is always looking for ways to bless you? When He realized that the old covenant He made with His people didn’t allow Him to pour out His full blessings, He made a new covenant of grace through
the death of Jesus at the cross [Hebrews 8:8]. Friends, God is al- ways looking for reasons to bless you! Every moment in heaven, He is always thinking of you!
Just like a father, God is always looking for presents to give to His children. Jesus is the best gift that God has, because through receiving Jesus, you have your salvation [John 3;16], peace with God [Romans 5:1], the forgiveness of sins [Matt 26:28] and provision for your daily needs [Matt 6:25-34]! Hallelujah!
If God does not care about you, or wants you to please Him first before He blesses you, He wouldn’t send Jesus to die for you. He would still require you to live under the old covenant, where you must do good first to be blessed. He will want you to fail so that the punishment will come on you, and then you will learn your lessons. But that’s not God’s way! He establishes the new covenant so that you will always be blessed in spite of your circumstances, because of Jesus! Isn’t God good?
When you realize that God is always on your side [Romans 8:31], you will have the strength to go through all of your tribulations, because everything will turn out for good for God’s children [Romans 8:28]! Amen!
Look at your earhtly father
Friends, whenever you are confused as to what God really is like, just look at your earthly dad! God is not called the Father for no reason; He is called our Father because He acts like our earthly daddy, and much more!
Some people think that God is one who is ready to punish the moment we err. Or they see God as someone who needs to be pleased before He blesses. Now, is our earthly daddy like that? Do they ready the cane and whack us the moment we do something wrong? Or do they wait for us to serve them tea and kowtow to them first before they give us our allowance? No! A father’s natural reaction would be to do everything in his might to delight his child!
If our earthly father can be so concerned for us, how much more our heavenly Father! [Matt. 7:11]
Thought of the Week: If God is for you, who can be against you!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Relish Today
Hi Teman2,
I have the urge to write something (Just anything) so I better type them up before my memories fade away. In this week alone, everyone in LA witnessed the departure of two very close friends. I was not physically present but believe me- "I feel your pain". Just recently, God seemed to be "shaking" my emotions, calling me to look back and review my past. When I actually looked back, it was rather difficult. Really, it was very difficult to remember the joys and pains of the past. The truth is, we are all living in a world where time only moves one way. We can never be at the 'same place', 'same situation' and 'same time' all at the same instant. Our sensation and perception of that instant will only last an instant- nothing more than that. Beyond that, we have to face the future, and beyond that we create histories.
But my friends, before you condemn that "instant" to a mere split second that preceeds the future and succeeds the history, think again what determines your futures and what carves your silhouettes. God promises us, in Jeremiah 29:11, that He has brilliant plans for us, plans that aim to prosper us instead of downgrading us. Remember the very instant we accepted Jesus as our savior? That was the instant that brought us infinite prosperity today (as promised in Jeremiah). God also called on people to serve Him in His kingdom. Recall the first day of your ministry in church? That was the instant that puts you closer to God today. Recall the first moment of your decision to apply to a university in Los Angeles? That was the very moment that dictated our friendship. Without all these individual instants, nothing will happen. Your life will be different from what it is today. Last Sunday, Pastor Lusi from IFGF Tokyo preached about making the right decisions today. She did not say make the right decision tomorrow, or regret your decision yesterday. But she stressed the importance of involving God in your decision today.
Therefore, I urge everyone to cherish today. Treat today as a day that you will remember 10 years later. When He sees you treating today with seriousness, I am sure that He will give signals that will bless your day abundantly. He will prosper your today such that tomorrow, you will be looking back with confidence instead of regrets. Give your praise to Him today so that tomorrow, you will witness the great things He has done yesterday! So everyone, today is not merely a time to past. It is a time that will determine your tomorrow and yesterday, your futures and histories. And it starts today, this very second. Grab it quick because it only lasts a second.
Remember the movie "Kung Fu Panda"?
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, That's why it's called the Present
Relish Today! God Bless all of you!
Kenji T. Kusuma
Sunday, October 11, 2009
BenjaminGen Devotional: One thing is needed...
Intro
Have you ever felt real busy in your life? It is as if your whole day is already packed with to-do’s and there is no time for breaks.
But, do you know that being busy with your own tasks is not what Jesus wants you to do? Jesus performed many miracles and accomplished many within a 3-year span before He was crucified; no doubt He was a very busy man going from city to city and ministering to the people. Still, He doesn’t want us to hinge the satisfaction of our day on how much we accomplish. Rather, He wants us to do the one thing that is needful, which is to sit at His feet and receive from Him!
Friends, God wants us to eat from the Bread of life (Jesus) [John 6:35] and be refreshed! And that refreshment will empower us to go about doing what needs to be done for the day!
The Story of Martha & Mary
One day, Jesus visited the home of Martha and Mary, two sisters who are friends of His.
Now, what should we do when a visitor comes over to our home? Our instincts will tell us to prepare refresh- ments and make our guests as comfortable as possible. That is ex- actly what Martha did. She did what was customary by serving her guest, Jesus. However, take a look at what Mary did. Not only did
she not help Martha in preparations, but she was having a conversa- tion with the guest! Imagine Jesus’ fatigue after all He had done throughout the day; yet, she still wanted Jesus to speak with her! She did not minister to Jesus, but wanted Jesus to minister to her!
Many of us would think that what Mary did was inconsiderate because she should have allowed Jesus to rest and recuperate. Martha, just like many of us (if we were in her shoes), was naturally unhappy with Mary; not only did Mary not help with the prepara- tions, but she disturbed the guest too!
However, Jesus never rebuked Mary for what she did; instead, He told Martha that Mary had chosen the one thing needed, which is
the good part which will not be taken away from her [Luke 10:42].
Lessons Learnt
Jesus wants to minister to us because that is where He gets His refreshing! A tired Jesus visited a woman at a well in Samaria one day and ministered to her. He was immediately refreshed and His disciples were amazed! And all
He told His disciples was this, “I have food to eat of which you do not know.” [John 4:32]. Hallelujah! Friends, Jesus receives His food from ministering to us, and He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow!
Amen! Let us all strive to be like Mary, who puts God first before anything else and receive our refreshment from our
loving Savior. Sing a song or two before we start our day, and be in a constant prayer “mode” as we go about doing our activities for the day!
Thought of the Week: Be refreshed as you do the one thing needed for the day!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Teddy Stoddard's Life Story
> > ONE OF THE BEST
> > LIFE STORY !
> >
> > As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of
> > school, she told the children an untruth. Like most
> > teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved
> > them all the same. However, that was impossible, because
> > there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little
> > boy named Teddy Stoddard.
> >
> > Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not
> > play well with the other children, that his clothes were
> > messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition,
> > Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs.
> > Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers
> > with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a
> > big 'F' at the top of his papers.
> >
> > At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each
> > child's past records and she put Teddy's off until
> > last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a
> > surprise...
> > Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a
> > ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...
> > he is a joy to be around..'
> >
> > His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well
> > liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his
> > mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a
> > struggle.'
> >
> > His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on
> > him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't
> > show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him
> > if some steps aren't taken.'
> >
> > Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't
> > show much interest in school. He doesn't have many
> > friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'
> >
> >
> > By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of
> > herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her
> > Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright
> > paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily
> > wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery
> > bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of
> > the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh
> > when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones
> > missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume.
> > But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and
> > dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard
> > stayed after school that day just long enough to say,
> > 'Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used
> > to.'
> >
> > After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she
> > quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she
> > began to teach children.. Mrs. Thompson paid particular
> > attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed
> > to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
> > responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of
> > the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that
> > she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one
> > of her 'teacher's pets..' A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy,telling her that
> > she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six
> > years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He
> > then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his
> > class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
> >
> > Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had
> > been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck
> > with it, and would soon graduate from college with the
> > highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was
> > still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his
> > whole life.
> >
> > Then four more years passed and yet another letter came..This time he
> > explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he
> > decided to go a little further. The letter explained that
> > she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But
> > now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed,
> > Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
> >
> > The story does not end there.You see, there was yet another letter that spring.
> > Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married.
> > He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago
> > and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at
> > the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the
> > mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess
> > what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several
> > rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing
> > the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on
> > their last Christmas together. They hugged each other, and
> > Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear,
> > 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you
> > so much for making me feel important and showing me that I
> > could make a difference.. '
> >
> > Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you
> > have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I
> > could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach
> > until I met you.' (For you who don't know, Teddy
> > Stoddard is the Doctor at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that
> > has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)
> >
> > Warm someone's heart today. .. .Random acts of kindness
> > Just try to make a difference in someone's life today or tomorrow? just 'do it'.
> >
> > "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sincere Prayer
Every time we find ourselves trapped within a room of troubles, take a step back and try to lean on Him. For the bible promises us, God will strengthen us whenever we need to be strengthened. And when we hold on to our faith firmly, we will find a open door, waiting for us to leave our present state of difficulties.
Excerpts from The Foolish Things on Earth by Jessica Irene. Full text at http://pupupopo.blogspot.com/2009/09/foolish-things-on-earth.html
I have to admit pas minggu2 lalu ini super depressed, I pray harder than any other time in my life, waiting on God’s deliverance. On one of the daily emails that I receive from ci Irene K, there was a good quote that says when you’re down, devastated, and at your lowest point, you wouldn’t have any power left to make up un-sincere prayers. And when I prayed sincerely, God listens. He provides me with the simple things that I need in life and most importantly dearly said that He loves me more than anything else in this world. But now? When everything is so much better than weeks ago, honestly my prayer jadi memble. Prayers setiap pagi and malem cumin jadi formalitas buat say good morning and good night ke Tuhan, which is not the correct attitude! At least starting from this day on, I wanna try making my daily prayers as bullish as possible.
Pastor Sugi just contacted me a few days ago saying that Pinole is building a Nepalian church in two cities in US. Now that is a bullish move! Let’s support it in anyway that we can.
And this is the end of my entry for today.. thaaa ~
God bless u
Saturday, October 3, 2009
BenjaminGen Devotional: What's in your hands?
Intro
Many of us have aspirations and dreams. There are things that we would like to do but we hold back on them not because of laziness or a lack of self-motivation, but because of doubt. Doubt, in my opinion, is the root of laziness and lack of self-motivation. If we doubt that we can be the person we aspire to be in the future, what motivation is there to push us forward?
Often, when we want to take a leap forward, we always look to our deficiencies. We always tell ourselves how we are always under-qualified to do something but we never look towards what God says! Friends, God is looking to work amazing miracles in your lives, but He is asking: what do you have in your hands?
When we give thanks for what we have in our hands, God will work His miracle in that area of our lives!
Let’s look at two amazing stories from “God’s manual for everyday living” (a.k.a the Bible! )
Moses: Vhat God? Are You kidding?
Moses is the man that God gave the 2 tablets of Commandment to at Mount Zion, and a man who was chosen to lead Israel out of Egypt. However, do you know that when Moses was chosen as Israel’s leader to lead them to the promised land, he doubted in his own ability?
Even when Moses was full of unbelief, our beloved and merciful God still had confidence in him. He asked Moses, “what do you have
in your hands?”[Exodus 4:2]Friends, that is the same question that God is asking each of us today! What do we have in our hands? Now, Moses didn’t accomplish everything by himself, but had help from people like Aaron his brother, and others like Joshua and Caleb. Nevertheless, he fulfilled his duty as Israel’s leader. Friends, God will never leave us to accomplish things that may be difficult to achieve on our own; He will send helpers and people who will guide and open the doors of opportunity for us!
Even in the midst of Moses’ unbelief, God still had full confi- dence in him. He could have chosen someone more able, but isn’t like God who chooses the weak things to confound the mighty? When we are weak, He is strong! Hallelujah!
(p.s.: the dialogue in the title is not found in the Bible, so don’t bother searching :p)
Jesus with the 5 loaves and 2 fish
I am sure that all of us here know the story of Jesus feeding the thousands with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Now, let’s look at what Jesus did before He performed his miracle. Mahew 15:36 (NKJV) says: “And He took the seven loaves and the fish and gave thanks, broke them and gave them to His disciples; and the disciples gave to the multitude.” In Mahew 14, for a similar miracle, the word “blessed” is used.
Friends, when we give thanks for what we have in our hands, we bless it and allow God’s miracle to work! Amen!
Thought of the Week: Give thanks for what is in your hands, and watch God do miracles with it! Amen!
